There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
