I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
