This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
