i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
