I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
