So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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