Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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