Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
