ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
