Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So much rum. So many feels.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
