Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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