Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people

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(253): View more from Washington

My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?

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(713): View more from Texas

I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"

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(512): View more from Texas

This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.

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(540): View more from Virginia

This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Your shit was massive.

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.

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