So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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