wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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