I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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