Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I want her autograph on my taint
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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