There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Are we still banned from the library?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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