Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
