Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
