I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
