I look better un-naked...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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