I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
