plz talk dirty to me
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
