So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I will pee on everything he values.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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