is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
