which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
