I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Too much gin, very little bucket
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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