Who wears a wallet chain?!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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