I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
