whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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