i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
