So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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