Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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