Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
