if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
