god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
