He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
