Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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