Already got asked if we're dating
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
