is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
