What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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