after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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