someone threw a dead crab at me
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
