And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
