and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
