I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I am available for nakedness
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
