just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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