Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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