is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
