...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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