they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
